Tuesday, February 3, 2009

we'll share fries

the bachelor definitely didn't disappoint this week. i think last week was one of the finest episodes ever but this week was okay too. with all the crazy hot messes gone, it's getting pretty serious now and there really isn't anyone to make fun of anymore. i think we were all a little relieved and sad to see Stephanie go--by far one of the classiest, most poised ladies ever on the show. She was a little eccentric and always over-accesorized but never once did she say an ugly thing toward or about anyone else. She was the most level-headed and composed when she didn't get a rose and wasn't even near an emotional breakdown in the limo. She is one classy lady. We all love her but we all knew in our hearts that she is not the one for Jason. I hope she will find a Southern oil tycoon who appreciates her sequin tops, her 4 inch blush streek up to her temples and her feather/fur vests. She deserves a good one.
I think Melissa is my favorite. I loved her when she was on CMT's Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and I love her now. She is young but i do think she is sincere. i also love that to her, stretchy pants = size 2 booty shorts. to me, stretchy pants = stretchy pants. anyway--i like molly and jill more each week and naomi is great--she's just not for jason. especially with the gangsta hood over her head during the campfire at rei. i'm pretty sure she'll get voted off next. definitely looking forward to hometown dates next week...there have been previews of crazy grannies, dead dove funerals and missing parents...this is truly gripping television...

after the fellas left last night (yes, we've managed to wrangle a few boys to watch with us) we just started chatting and the convo quickly turned to ridiculous date stories. We all laughed so hard until we cried. And then we really did want to cry--these really are our choices? These things couldn't have been made up...a few highlights:

1. a typed form letter from a 60 year old requesting the "pleasure of you company at 5:00 PM"

2. guy wanted to go to subway to use his gift card--turns out it wasn't a gift card, was a points card. didn't have enough points to cover his foot long and her six inch. she bought her own sandwich

3. guy needed to come up to her apt to wash toothpaste off his face--his sister told him to put toothpaste on his zits. he didn't have the where-with-all to wash it off before he picked her up

4. picked her up in a pt-cruiser with custom two-toned purple flames streaking down the sides

5. asked if he could take a 20-minute power nap in the middle of the date back at home while she waited on the couch

6. at the end of the date-gave her a green and red jewel. he said he was going to take a walk around the block and when he got back, she was to have put out the green or red jewel to indicate if she would like another date or not

7. i had a date to crown burger. he wanted to order for me. i said i'll take a jr. cheeseburger and fries. he looked at me and said, "we'll share fries and you'll have water"

8. took her to barnes and noble to look at books. his favorite books were in the sci-fi and foreign language section. he proceeded to tell her that he didn't know any foreign language but would often read an f.l book cover to cover and make up the story in his head.

9. guy told her to wear pink so he didn't have to pay for her entrance to an event that was supporting breast cancer awareness

10. guy had all his credit cards declined at the restaurant. after she paid for it, they were in the car and he called his dad to yell at him and ask him why there was no money in his account.

yep, these are our choices. awesome.

4 comments:

Natalie said...

HILARIOUS! Gotta love dating stories. I'm sure watching the Bachelor doesn't make your "options" look very good at all. I actually watched all of the Bachelor this week as I was entering survey data for my thesis. I could only watch all of it because Mike wasn't home yet:) Hope all is well with you1

iammommahearmeroar said...

Great commentary on the show. Couldn't agree more...except I like Jillian more then Melissa. I love your blog, Nance! You are so funny!

Jenny N said...

those are some serisouly ridiculous stories. thanks for sharing. my roommates and i all got a greast laugh.

Payne said...

Cheeseburger.

I love that you ordered one in the story...why is that word so darn funny?